Dr. Tae Yun Kim: no excuses!

Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim continues:

Most excuses are fueled by the belief that you can’t do what you know you should. No such thing! Be aware that I can’t usually means I could, but I won’t. I can’t stop spending my money on gambling best usually means I could stop, but I won’t because I want the rush I get when I do it. Or, I can’t work any harder to get this promotion might mean I could work harder, but I won’t because I am lazy.

In both these instances, we can see that the persons saying I can’t have a problem with their self concept, not with their capability. In the gambler’s situation, his or her addiction to the “rush” is most likely taking the place of genuine emotion that’s buried. He or she needs to rediscover the natural energy of real feeling, not the insubstantial “rushes” of gambling. Lazy persons most likely have some fear regarding their ability to achieve. They use laziness to avoid testing themselves and confronting their fear of failure.

So my point is, if you find yourself saying I can’t, examine this statement very closely! It rarely means I am not able, and your Silent Master is prepared to boost you and support you towards realizing any true desire you have. Most of the time, you can! You will just have to persevere with continued effort. Look at this video:



If these turkeys had insisted that they cannot fly - they would have been left behind. But by following their true being, and not giving up - they finally made it over the fence!

Some people never take their goals beyond “information collecting.” They talk about what they want, they think about it, they look into it, they dream about it, they read books about it, they admire it…but they don’t do anything about it! Remember, we live in a universe that’s made of vibrating energy. Energy is in motion! We’re part of that energy and we need to express motion in our creativity. Fulfilling your goals requires an energy process to manifest – motion and activity! And the process is one that will most likely take place over time.

Unfortunately, we are bombarded by the media with images and slogans of instant gratification. “You want this…just call so and so now…” Or, “You want to look like this, be like this…just buy such and such now.” Something I often tell my students is: What you get easily, you can usually lose easily. Even though as a rule we don’t take advertising seriously, we are still impacted by these images to some extent. We are easily disappointed with delay when we pursue our goals, often using it as an excuse to give up.

But, at Jung SuWon, I provide an environment for people where they can start getting used to setting goals, small ones at first, to make sure they reach them, and then encouraging to start reaching for their dreams!

Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim shares about setting goals/part 3

Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim continues: Try to be aware at the beginning of your path of what might arise to hinder you along the way. This is not asking for trouble, looking for trouble, or expecting trouble. It is, in fact, a way of helping avoid trouble. When you become aware of possible obstacles, you give some thought in advance as to how you will deal with them.

And what happens when you don’t reach your goal the way you stated it or planned it? Keep going. Being half way there is better than where you were before you set the goal. Give yourself credit and praise for the effort you’ve made, and keep going. It doesn’t matter how far behind you think you are in the race. And this leads me to another principle that’s very important in taking charge of your life: avoid excuses.


Are you starting to feel like taking some constructive action? I hope the answer is a loud, resounding “yes!” Action is a necessary part of every goal you set and intend to fulfill.

Excuses are a senseless waste of energy! When a goal is taking longer than expected to fulfill, there is a strong temptation to give up and make excuses for failure. Your excuses prevent you from doing the additional work you need to do for ultimate success. Have you had the experience of saying I know I should or shouldn’t…whatever…but I am doing it because….I hear things from my students like I know I shouldn’t keep spending my money on gambling bets…but, (then the excuse)…or,, I know I should tell my wife I’ve been seeing someone else…but, (then the excuse)…or, I know I should be exercising more…but, (then the excuse)…

In all these instances, you do know the right thing to do, but you make an excuse! You make the excuse because somehow you think this is more beneficial than being honest with yourself or someone else. The next time you find yourself doing this, take one more step. Actually list the pros and cons of continuing lying to yourself alongside the pros and cons of being honest. I think you’ll see on the “honest” side, you open up the possibility to actually solve a problem, even though there might be some conflict; and on the “dishonest” side you set yourself up to continue the problem at the price of avoiding conflict.

Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim: more about setting goals

At Jung SuWon, Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim explains further about details of setting goals:

One criterion you can use in determining whether or not your goal is realistic is this: is the desire that is driving you your own? Or is it based on the expectations of someone else? If you can honestly say that your desire is your own (not something you conjured up to please someone else), then even if it seems presently out of reach, you owe it to yourself to pursue it! Your Silent Master does not give you true desires for nothing. In fact, that is one way your Silent Master communicates with you and attempts to give you direction.

Then, once you have your goal, make it measurable somehow so that you know when you’ve reached it. Again, that may sound overly simplistic, but you may be amazed at how you refrain from doing this on a regular basis. We tend to state our goals vaguely and loosely like: Yes, I am going to lose weight…or, my new goal is to find a different job…or, I am going to move soon…..How much weight are you going to lose, and by when? What kind of job do you want, in what area, in what salary range, and by what date? Where are you going to move, to what kind of house, for what price range, and by what date? If some of these parameters are open-ended, fine…but at least include them in your goal.

Set up milestones along the path to realizing your goal, ways you can check your progress. There are usually steps that you will take to fulfill a goal, and as you reach each step you can determine if you’re truly moving forward of if you like where you are going. For instance, if your goal is to find a new job, one of your milestones may be simply getting a resume printed. Another might be finding an agency to help you. Another might be getting some interviews in an area you like. At each of these points, you will be able to evaluate your progress and make changes if necessary.

Choosing milestones, of course, is part of forming your plan. You can’t overlook the fact that you must proceed in some kind of orderly fashion, and this nearly always means forming a planned procedure to take. Here you will see the power of choice at work. Once choice about what action to take opens up a whole range of other choices. Your first choice will lead you to the next step and the next if you just make a start!

You may want to actually make a contract with yourself to really sew up your plans! I often recommend to students that they write out an “agreement” which states the goal specifically, outlines steps they will take, sets milestones they will encounter, and the terms of fulfillment. Then I ask them to sign it and read it as often as possible. The content of the agreement must permeate all four bodies: physically in the actions you take, mentally in your thoughts, emotionally in your feelings, and spiritually in your dreams, aspirations and subconscious mind.

Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim's advice on achieving goals

Here is something I really like. Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim talks a lot about setting goals, but she doesn't stop there. Read on to see...

It’s easy to set goals, it’s easy to list down all the things you want to accomplish, the dreams you have. But what are we going to do about them? How can we reach them? How can we make sure they don’t remain words written down on pieces of paper?

So before we do anything else, let’s meditate together. You can either sit down in formal meditation position, or just find a quiet moment in whatever position is comfortable to you. Calm you thoughts, let them go…..breathe deeply and quietly….there you go….that’s better….continue as long as you feel like it. You will know when you are finished.

Now we are ready to think about following through with our goals, with actual pursuing our dreams. First thing: you need to give your goal a chance to come true! You have to give yourself a chance to realize your desire by setting specific goals and charting a specific course towards that goal. Daydreaming and wishing aren’t goals, no, a goal is something that can be realized when you follow through with appropriate action. Here are some principles I have been using all my life in setting goals that I want to fulfill. First and most important, make your goals realistic. Here you will have to use your own judgment and follow the inner direction of your Silent Master. Only you know what’s truly within the parameters of your life purpose. All of us are born with a specific purpose to fulfill, and we already possess the potential to fulfill it. That’s why we can follow our true desires, which will attract to us all the tools we need to do our work.

Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim's epilogue to the Frog and Scorpion story

Let’s look at this story closer. How are you going to deal with your bad habits, when they come to you again and again, trying to lull you into giving in to them? Are you ready to fight back?

Instead of being inflexible like the scorpion and regarding your bad habits as “just your nature,” or “just the way you are,” why not try another approach? Let’s assume for a moment that your negative traits are beliefs that you have adopted about yourself, and that you can use your will power to begin the process of conquering them. If you have beliefs like “I’m lazy,” “I’m shy,” “I’m useless,” “I’m poor,” “I’m stupid,” let’s ask, what do you get out of these beliefs? If you’re holding on to them so tightly, you must be getting something you think you want. But is it happiness you’re getting? Success? Achievement? Growth? I really doubt if you’re getting anything good from those beliefs.

If you really want to change your life, you may have to see that what you’re really getting out of these beliefs is an excuse not to face up to some fear or weakness you have. As long as you believe you’re lazy, will you focus your will on going to school to learn something new? No, because if your laziness is really a fear of failure, you won’t test yourself in school. As long as you believe you’re shy, will you use your will power to seek out a new, more fulfilling career in which you have to meet many people? No, because if your shyness is really fear of talking to others, you’ll keep your undesirable present job where there are few people. In both of theses situations, you are afraid, not really lazy, and not really shy.

But feelings of limitations are so unnecessary. Fear can be conquered! Weakness can be overcome! Each time you use your will power to stand up and throw yourself into the face of another “I can’t,” you are getting ready for a victory. So, you begin to identify your fears and weaknesses, and start to confront them.

Realize that “I Can’t” usually means, “I won’t.”

All of us, at some time or another, have felt the limiting power of “I can’t.” Even when we really want something, and even if that something is within our power, those two simple words can prevent it from happening. When you find yourself saying, “I can’t,” look deeper to see if you’re making another excuse. If you look honestly, you will usually find that your words “I can’t” actually mean, “I could, but I won’t for this or that reason.” For instance, “I can’t do well in school” might easily mean, “I could do well in school but I won’t put in the time and effort to study.” When you become willing to say, “I can,” you find the power to carry it out from your Silent Master within.

So, when your old habits want to come creeping back, when your old self wants to take over again, know that you have the power to change. The power is in you; it is your personal choice what you do in your life! Take charge of your life!